Flame On
I didn't know in which blog to post this, here or The Quest. It deals with my workout this week but it had nothing to do with the workout. You'll see in a few seconds.So there I was after another strenuous workout at the club when I walked into the locker room and there was this guy who was checking out his own a$$ in the mirror. Don't get me wrong, there are always guys looking at themselves in the mirror (chest, abs, etc.) but not their backside. This seemed kind of strange to me but I was wiped out so I sat in front of my locker and tried to peal of my sweaty jersey off of my body, when this guy starts to talk to his friend saying something like... "I think my a$$ is starting to look real good, don't you think so?" It wasn't even the fact that he said this in a group of men; it was that he was obviously flaming and spoke that way. I looked up hoping that he wasn't asking me this question. I glanced in his direction when the guy next to me said, "it sure is, those squats are paying off."
I got out of my clothes the best I could, wrapped a towel around me quickly, and showered. I have never acted this way before and felt that little phlegm come up from my stomach.
Given the five percent rule... I gave a SWAG that five percent of the population is gay. On any day in the gym there might be 50 guys in the locker room at once so I'm guessing at least two of them should be gay. This has never bothered me before, but the fact that this guy was obviously flaunting the fact that he was has me concerned. I talked to a couple of people that said that I should just get over it. I agree with them, but is it just me or are there others of you that think that it was somewhat weird and it was ok for me to feel this way. I know he wasn't there trying to pick me or anyone else up, but this did bother me.
I never considered myself as a homophobe, as I think that some of my friends are gay and this has never bugged me before. I would play sports with these guys and hang out together. I think that the issue here is that this guy was flaming and my friends aren't so this was the first time that I experienced this.
posted by Fe Man at 3:49 PM
5 Comments:
Dude, if this freaked you out, you should never come to my gym in Hollywood. One time, I was relaxing in the spa after a swim and this guy decided to have a soak himself. He had a tatoo on the small of his back. It read, "Please wait your turn."
I think it was a normal reaction. . . I was on a basketball trip in college and had to room with 2 known gay gals. . . it was 2 straight and 2 gay. I didn't even like the straight gal that much, but we shared the bed just cuz. I never took off my clothes in front of either of them, and neither did the other gal. Nobody ever stripped down naked in the locker room, but them. . . . so there must of been a bunch of us who never spoke a word, but all felt the same.
You have just been the first one to verbalize what everyone else was thinking.
Gil ewwwwwwwwww. . . . grossed me out.
Ciao
I think it was the nature of his comment that did you in. Many people are comfortable with a laissez faire approach (or should I say laissez fairy?). "Just be private about it and we are good."
A guy made an appeal that inadvertantly asked you to make an evaluation about his caboose in a sexual manner. Unless you have conditioned/socialized yourself to think about male cabooses as sexual objects, the way that gay men have, you are bound to be a little queasy.
For straight men, the caboose is primarily a way to evacuate waste. This function contributes to a sense of disgust about it being used otherwise. Additionally, men have tied their identity up with being the penetrator, not the penetratee. So it seems a betrayal of manhood to suggest roles could be reversed.
In sum, I think you shouldn't beat yourself up about being uncomfortable.
But you should know that they gym is not a place that is not considered by sociologists or psychologists to be a representative cross-section of society. The gym is disproportionately full of upper middle and upper class men and women. It is also disproportionately full of people who have dysmorphic-identity issues with their bodies. Since I think that gays are more likely to inhabit those sub-groups, you are more likely to have gays in your gym. I submit to you that there are more than 5% homosexual in your lockeroom, my friend.
Gil, I threw up a little in my mouth reading your story.
dysmorphic-identity issues? I think Ed might have just insulted you, Zo.
He's still upset from having to give me that wad of cash on the Gracie - Hughes fight.
Post a Comment
<< Home