Kingdom of the Wild

The females of the house had an interesting experience late last week. It seems that my wife left the door to the garage open and a chipmunk was able to sneak into the house. All was well for the little guy until he was spotted by the girls. That's when the screaming started and everything went haywire. The screaming must have alerted the chipmunk that all is not well in Neverland so he started running around the house trying to figure out how he could make his escape from all the screaming.

When faced with this, I normally shut the door to my office, put my headphones on, and listen to U2.

Getting back to the story, my wife hearing the girls screaming ran for them thinking that one got hurt. As she was running for them and them running to her with the chipmunk in-between the women, all hell broke loose, as you could have imagined it. My wife is not the hunter of the family... she is the gatherer. So she ran for cover seeing the varmint with its giant teeth.

Ok so chipmunks don't have giant teeth. I'm trying to do my best with this story as to not make it sound like my wife was scared of a little critter.

My wife being pursued by the assailant ran for high ground. The rabid chipmunk ran for the door wall only to find out that the door wall was closed. He rose up on its hind legs banging on the door and trying to reach for the doorknob with no avail. So the assassin turned and ran into the room to see that my wife and kids have taken up a high vantage point in the room. They were all standing on the couch. The little murderer ducked for cover under the couch trying to regain its wits.

My wife seeing this ordered the young one the open the door wall to the outside so that the fearsome creature could escape should he choose. It is always wise to send the young one to do heroic deeds. First, they don't typically understand the risk involved, second they are usually the fasted and have the most dexterity and third, they fear authority figures and don't want to get on that bad side.

After a few minutes, (it must have felt like hours) the beast lunged for the door trying to dodge anything being thrown at it and made an escape. He lived to tell his story of how he encountered the big people and won to his furry friends.

Ever since this occurrence, the chipmunks of the neighborhood have been circling my fortress looking for a way and trying to get at my honey roasted peanuts. However, I'm not going to givkingdomkingdome that easily. I'm not that easily intimidated. Nevertheless, if it's a war they want bring it on Chip... this subdivision isn't big enough for both of us.