Trip to Hell (at least that's how hot it was)
Let me tell you of a place I don’t like that much…
Several years ago our family went to Sea World in Ohio. Don’t get wrong, even though I’m not a big fan of fish, I do like places like Chicago’s Shed Aquarium. I’m just not a big fan of Sea World. If it wasn’t for Shamu, I would have never gone… ok, the kids had something to do with it as well.
So anyways, there we were in the heat of the summer and not a shade tree to keep me cool. We pushed the kids stroller this way and that way looking at all the potential lunch swimming within these temperature controlled tanks. It was so hot that I even suggested that we sit in the splash zone when Shamu performed. You would have thought that something this big hitting a relatively small pool of water could have at least gotten me wet. But alas, he must have been off his game as very few of us sitting in “the splash zone” got much more then a spring sprinkle.
To top off the trip was this underhanded milking that Sea World gave me. Around what must have been feeding time for the seals the seals finally made an appearance. They go through their routine and at the end, the spectators are offered the chance to help feed these critters. Now get this… all Sea World asked for us was to buy fish from the vendors that had just opened up at a ridiculous cost. It seemed something like five bucks for three small perch. So here I am trying not to be the meany but I fork over ten bucks so that Itchy and Scratchy can both feed the seals. So I pay them so that I can feed their seals their fish… am I missing something?
Is it just me, or do any of you also seem that this was a rip off. If you say no, then I propose that you should come by my house so that you can watch the endangered species of Itchy and Scratchy in their own habitat. It’ll only cost you… say, $24.95 / person. For this you get to hear all about Itchy from our habitat coordinators. Right around what seems like noon, Itchy and Scratchy will make a short appearance and show you all their mad skill that they have on playstation 3. You will be given the chance to feed them yourself! The habitat coordinators will make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that will only cost you $5 each and then you get to give these to Itchy and Scratchy to devour. After their lunch, Itchy and Scratchy will run around a while and then head off for their afternoon siesta (as it is way to hot for them to run around in the summer outdoors). If you want you can even feed the dreaded Feman, but be careful not to get your hands between the chips and salsa bowl since it has been known that he can not be controlled when he is in salsa rage.
At the end of the day you can take home with you a big furry replica of Feman… for only $30… that is.
Several years ago our family went to Sea World in Ohio. Don’t get wrong, even though I’m not a big fan of fish, I do like places like Chicago’s Shed Aquarium. I’m just not a big fan of Sea World. If it wasn’t for Shamu, I would have never gone… ok, the kids had something to do with it as well.
So anyways, there we were in the heat of the summer and not a shade tree to keep me cool. We pushed the kids stroller this way and that way looking at all the potential lunch swimming within these temperature controlled tanks. It was so hot that I even suggested that we sit in the splash zone when Shamu performed. You would have thought that something this big hitting a relatively small pool of water could have at least gotten me wet. But alas, he must have been off his game as very few of us sitting in “the splash zone” got much more then a spring sprinkle.
To top off the trip was this underhanded milking that Sea World gave me. Around what must have been feeding time for the seals the seals finally made an appearance. They go through their routine and at the end, the spectators are offered the chance to help feed these critters. Now get this… all Sea World asked for us was to buy fish from the vendors that had just opened up at a ridiculous cost. It seemed something like five bucks for three small perch. So here I am trying not to be the meany but I fork over ten bucks so that Itchy and Scratchy can both feed the seals. So I pay them so that I can feed their seals their fish… am I missing something?
Is it just me, or do any of you also seem that this was a rip off. If you say no, then I propose that you should come by my house so that you can watch the endangered species of Itchy and Scratchy in their own habitat. It’ll only cost you… say, $24.95 / person. For this you get to hear all about Itchy from our habitat coordinators. Right around what seems like noon, Itchy and Scratchy will make a short appearance and show you all their mad skill that they have on playstation 3. You will be given the chance to feed them yourself! The habitat coordinators will make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that will only cost you $5 each and then you get to give these to Itchy and Scratchy to devour. After their lunch, Itchy and Scratchy will run around a while and then head off for their afternoon siesta (as it is way to hot for them to run around in the summer outdoors). If you want you can even feed the dreaded Feman, but be careful not to get your hands between the chips and salsa bowl since it has been known that he can not be controlled when he is in salsa rage.
At the end of the day you can take home with you a big furry replica of Feman… for only $30… that is.
posted by Fe Man at 6:51 PM
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