S P I T N

A new feature to this blog will be Stupid People In The News, which will be from now on be referred to its acronym of S P I T N. Which may be what I do when I read some of these things?

The amount of totally stupid things people will do and appear in our news is reaching a staggering level. The latest occurred a few weeks ago after the Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro shattered his leg in the Preakness Stakes.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think any part of his injury was funny, but what I do find humorous is the amount of stupid people that wrote well wishings to him.

You have to be kidding me... they wrote to him. I didn't know that Barbaro was an offspring of Mr. Ed. You can even send him an email… if you choose to join the masses check out this site http://www.vet.upenn.edu/barbaro/

What's next, are they going to start sending him get well soon flowers basket?

Oops, I guess so.

Can You hear us coming Lord
Can You hear us call
Feel us knocking
We're knocking at Your door

Bono

So there was this mixed martial arts fight yesterday between Royce Gracie and Matt Hughes. I would have thought that there was going to be some sort of martial arts displayed, but it was mostly a punching match. Who would have thought that the younger, faster, and stronger of the two would have won?

Let me give you a recap for those that didn't drop the $40 for the Pay Per View.

Royce Gracie was the first to enter the arena with father and brother at his sides. He takes off his traditional Gi and the crowd cheers huge as Royce dances into the ring in his blue shorts. For someone who is supposed to weight 175 he sure looks skinny.

Matt Hughes enters second in Xyience tee shirt accompanied by Pat Miletich and his team. Matt is ripped as always. The crowd is obviously behind the legend Royce as the fans cheer his introduction.

As Round 1 starts, Royce tries several leg kick and high kicks to Matt's head with little success. More low leg kicks by Royce that miss. Matt throws some jabs and a kick but does no real damage. Royce seems tentative but throws more leg kicks and Matt answers with a few of his own. They come together near the ring fence, trade knees, and Matt lands a hard knee to the chest of Royce. They go to the mat where everyone expected this fight to go to. Royce is comfortable fighting on his back and Matt obliges, as they are square in the center of the cage with Matt in side control.

As Matt tries to gain momentum by controlling Royce from the side, Royce tries to roll but is stopped. Matt is surprisingly comfortable on the ground and isn't afraid of Royce as he drops several elbows to Royce's ribs. Royce spins and gets Matt in half guard. Matt gets a Kimura (arm bar) on Royce and is trying to break Royce's arm. I didn't tape the fight but the arm looked as if it popped out of joint. Give Royce a ton of credit, as he did not show the pain that he was obviously in and didn't react to the Kimura by tapping out. Matt gives up the hold and again gets into side control. Matt ties up Royce and riding his back. He starts to rain elbows again and gets onto Royce's back looking for the rear naked choke. Matt ground and pound attack to the back of Royce's head start to work. Royce is taking a beating from Matt and as he seems to not be putting up a defense, the referee (Big John McCarthy) stops the fight with 21 seconds to go in the round.

Matt Hughes defeats Royce Gracie by referee stoppage (strikes) in the first round.

Relay for Life (Final Wrap)

I know... it's been almost a month... but what can I say. They don't call me Zotime for nothing. The weekend started with an 8-hour poker game at my house. Half the proceeds went to the ACS. I didn’t’ get to bed until about 4 am. We had to wake up early to be in Saline for a first communion on Saturday. After the celebration, we didn't get to the Relay for Life event until 4pm.

We had just missed the "Ms. Relay" event... this is where a male from the group needs to dress up like a woman and complete in a beauty contest (including evening dress, talent event, and short question and answer) our team headed by "The Magic Woman" won this (great job Bruce). I started to walk around the track at about 4:30. A few others and I completed laps being members of the Magic Carpet Ride team.

The RFL also want teams to come up with ways to make more money at the event. Most teams sell things like food and trinkets. Our team came up with this Magic Carpet ride as our moneymaking thing. We made a litter and covered it in a Persian Rug and four of us carried people them around the track. We also had a "Town Crier" in front of the litter announcing the presence of a princess/prince and to make way for them. This was a big hit with the crowd. We made about $150 doing this $5 per ride around the track.

I started to run about 6:30 pm and was going to run a few miles as part of a workout since I didn't get a chance to run earlier in the week. After about 45 minutes, I was informed that we had to do the Mardi Gras hour which is to walk around the track and try to get beads from people. Bruce ran up to me and handed me a bunch of beads as we needed to have someone participate during the hour. This worked, but by the end of the hour, I had already run over 10 miles. I ran a total of 13.5 miles straight. Needless to say that my legs hurt at the end and the cold didn't help at all. My legs started to get immediately tight as I started to cool down my run. By the time I had cooled down my legs were stiff like a board.

At dusk, they lit up the luminaries and several cancer survivors got up to talk about their experiences. At midnight, we had a bagpipe player come in and we all walked a lap around the track. Amazing Grace on the bagpipes has always meant a lot to our family as it was my father in laws favorite song, and when he passed away, it was played on the bagpipes at his wake and funeral. It was very moving for our family. We also sang Happy Birthday to one of the team’s daughter who had passed away from cancer four years ago. She would have been 14. You would have had to be a statue not to cry during this as 500 people sang this song to someone so young.
There was an hour of quiet time where most of the gathering walked around the track and read the lit bags as they lined the track.

At 1 am the festivities heated up again as there was karaoke for an hour followed by field events. At 5 am, it was spirit lap time, as the teams had to come up with a way to show spirit. Our team decided at the last minute to put together a marching band. We had a bell, a couple of plastic bucket (drums) and my daughters’ trombone in the band. We won this along with several choice words from some of the other teams that were trying to sleep at this time... (nothing like being woken up by a marching band) At 6 am, it was the morning walk time as teams walked around the track as the sun rose. All in all it was a very special event with many moving moments during the night. Our team raised almost $4k. In addition, as a site... all the teams had raised over $60k.

My legs were sore for over a week. However, of course, I loved every minute of it (even the cold). I came away with some very memorable moments from this that have permanently etched into my mind. My family will definitely do it again next year. We are even starting a non-profit organization to feed money into this cause and others that we have support through out the year.

Geography Lesson

I’m not shocked with how bad our youth are doing in geography given the fact that most of them have problems with the three R’s. Can you believe that they had this much trouble?

11 percent of 18-to-24-year-old citizens of the U.S. could not even locate the U.S. on a map.

The Pacific Ocean's location was a mystery to 29 percent; Japan, to 58 percent; France, to 65 percent; and the United Kingdom, to 69 percent.

More young U.S. citizens in the study knew that the island featured in the TV show "Survivor" was in the South Pacific than could find Israel.

Head to Head

Interesting piece of news will occurred next week, as two cloned mules will race against their natural counterparts.
It's not exactly the Kentucky Derby, but two cloned mules named Idaho Star and Idaho Gem will compete in a professional mule race in Winnemucca, Nev., when the professional mule racing season begins on June 2nd.

Idaho Gem and Idaho Star were both born three years ago. They carry identical DNA taken from a fetus produced by the same parents that sired a champion mule racer named Taz.

Because Gem and Star have been separated for over two years and trained separately, watching how they perform against each other will offer insight into the role played by environmental variables, such diet and training regimens, in developing racing mules.

By the way, just because they carry the DNA of a past champion that does not guarantee that the clones will be successful and win the race.

Great Optical Illusion 2

If you remember back a few days ago I had that great illusion of a giraffe.

Here's another one...

If you look at the picture carefully for a few seconds, you will see Toronto's CN tower in the background.

Two of a kind???

What do these two guys have in common?

Both have a name that starts with B
Both were great athletes and are real fast for their size
One won a leg of the Triple Crown the other one came close to winning the Triple Crown
Both are mostly dark brown in color
Both have suffered major leg injuries
Both have about the same size head
One has a few tight screws in his leg... the other has a few loose screws in his head
One will be taking horse steroids to help him heal from his shattered leg the other guy has already been there... done that
One is hung... ehhh... like a horse, the other one? Not so much (I hear steroid shrinks the package)

Gracie v. Hughes II

So Eduardo and I have had this ongoing discussion about the merits of the Gracie vs. Hughes mixed martial arts (MMA) fight that they will have this weekend.

Don't get me wrong, I think what Royce Gracie accomplished in the mid 90's was truly a feat. He revolutionized the sport to a point that before he entered the octagon everyone thought that the boxer or any of the countless other forms of martial artist where going to prevail. No one gave Royce (the skinny guy) from Brazil a shot. That is until he steamrolled the competition at the first few UFC Championships. He would roll into the ring with his family in tow and would wrestle people twice his size into pretzels. His Jiu Jitsu was unique and people in the UFC were ill prepared to counteract against this.

The rules during he first few UFC's allowed Royce an advantage. There were no time limits which favored the more fit of the fighters which Royce obviously was, and strikers would get tired throwing punches and kicks. If a stand up fighter did not have good technique Royce would grab a leg or an arm and would put them into submission. But that is where the credit ends.

Since that era, just about everyone knows (or soon find out) that they need to be a more well rounded fighter. Fighters of today can't just be proficient as a stand up and fighter, even though most do. At the very least they need to understand that they need to be able to counteract someone that wants to take the fight to the mat.

Enter Matt Hughes.... Matt has been a Division 1 All American in wrestling. He is very strong for his weight and his ground skills are superior which keep wrestlers from trying to take him down. He is not just a capable wrestler as he has been known to pick up opponents that try to armbar him and powerbomb them to the mat to get them to let go. He is the current UFC Welterweight Champion with a record of 38 - 4. He is adept at both stinking and submission style. Of his 38 wins 12 were TKOs (31.58%), 18 were submissions (47.37%), and 8 were decisions (21.05%). He has only been beat 4 times, twice each from TKO and submission.

One more edge for Matt is that his is obviously more familiar with the new format that the UFC has gone to and has more recent fights. Lastly, Matt is 7 years younger the Royce. Now that may not seem like a lot, but as Royce is approaching 40 he is clearly entering the twilight of his great career and is not at the peak of it (just ask any of the current twilight start of the Detroit Red Wings)

My prognostication is that Royce and Matt will start out standing and eventually Matt will connect with a punch or kick and Royce will go to the ground. At that point Royce will try to submit Matt but Matt will TKO Royce Gracie (in the second round about 3:45 if I were to guess).

Great Optical Illusion

This is truly an amazing optical illusion.
If you stare at the image long enough, your mind will create the impression of a giraffe.

The World is Full of Crazy People

Have you looked around lately?

It seems like every day there are more and more crazy people gathering notoriety at our expense. I can't seem to figure out why some of these guys seem to gather a following of poor souls. Are there this many mindless sheep in the world?

Who is the craziest?












Tom Cruise for his antics the last few years or....










O.J. Simpson for being back in the news (again) this time in a candid-camera like DVD program called Juiced. He steals the idea from Austin Kutcher of Punk'ed fame and tries to sell his infamous white Bronco at a car lot and brags to a potential buyer that he made the vehicle famous. "It was good for me. It helped me get away," Simpson said, referring to the slow speed police pursuit that lead up to his arrest on indictment of killing his ex-wife.

Nope... my vote is for this guy














If you don't know David Blaine's work maybe this will help.... In the past he has gained notorious status for his stunts like... Balancing on a 22-inch circular platform atop a 100-foot pole for 35 hours, being buried alive in a see-through coffin for a week and surviving inside a massive block of ice for 61 hours, and of course he fasted for 44 days in a suspended acrylic box over the Thames River in London.

So what's new with young David???
Think back about a few weeks ago...















Yep that's right it is Mr. Boy in the Bubble. Why this guy keep eating up on other people's 15 minutes of fame is besides me. Don't get me wrong I'm not hating on this guy, I just find it amazing that this guy is still getting people to watch him. This time on ABC prime time TV no less. So what does he have in store for us... is he going to make something disappear? Is he going to cut a lady in half? Is he going to shape change into a tiger? Nope... he is going to hold his breath. Now don't get me wrong, but my kids have been know to hold their breath to get something their way, and inevitability they give up after a minute or so. So what's the big deal with this??? Oh wait I've been told that he is going to hold his breath for NINE WHOLE MINUTES... Ok now that's interesting...

The only question I have is WHY DOES IT HAVE TO TAKE TWO HOURS OF PRIMETIME TV TO SHOW A NINE MINUTE STUNT????

Oh wait... darn he gives up just after seven minutes... go figure. How will ABC fill those extra two minutes now?

Mother's Day

Kids say the darnedest things about mothers. A group of second graders gave the following answers to some generic questions asked about their mothers.

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the Scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world, and my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

I would like to wish my mom and my wife a happy Mother's Day.

Italian Proverb

Who gives bread to other's dogs is often barked at by his own.