Trip to Hell (at least that's how hot it was)

Let me tell you of a place I don’t like that much…

Several years ago our family went to Sea World in Ohio. Don’t get wrong, even though I’m not a big fan of fish, I do like places like Chicago’s Shed Aquarium. I’m just not a big fan of Sea World. If it wasn’t for Shamu, I would have never gone… ok, the kids had something to do with it as well.

So anyways, there we were in the heat of the summer and not a shade tree to keep me cool. We pushed the kids stroller this way and that way looking at all the potential lunch swimming within these temperature controlled tanks. It was so hot that I even suggested that we sit in the splash zone when Shamu performed. You would have thought that something this big hitting a relatively small pool of water could have at least gotten me wet. But alas, he must have been off his game as very few of us sitting in “the splash zone” got much more then a spring sprinkle.

To top off the trip was this underhanded milking that Sea World gave me. Around what must have been feeding time for the seals the seals finally made an appearance. They go through their routine and at the end, the spectators are offered the chance to help feed these critters. Now get this… all Sea World asked for us was to buy fish from the vendors that had just opened up at a ridiculous cost. It seemed something like five bucks for three small perch. So here I am trying not to be the meany but I fork over ten bucks so that Itchy and Scratchy can both feed the seals. So I pay them so that I can feed their seals their fish… am I missing something?

Is it just me, or do any of you also seem that this was a rip off. If you say no, then I propose that you should come by my house so that you can watch the endangered species of Itchy and Scratchy in their own habitat. It’ll only cost you… say, $24.95 / person. For this you get to hear all about Itchy from our habitat coordinators. Right around what seems like noon, Itchy and Scratchy will make a short appearance and show you all their mad skill that they have on playstation 3. You will be given the chance to feed them yourself! The habitat coordinators will make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that will only cost you $5 each and then you get to give these to Itchy and Scratchy to devour. After their lunch, Itchy and Scratchy will run around a while and then head off for their afternoon siesta (as it is way to hot for them to run around in the summer outdoors). If you want you can even feed the dreaded Feman, but be careful not to get your hands between the chips and salsa bowl since it has been known that he can not be controlled when he is in salsa rage.

At the end of the day you can take home with you a big furry replica of Feman… for only $30… that is.

Punk'd

Itchy and I were coming back from the store yesterday and we were reliving one of the all time best practical jokes I pulled off on Norm. Austin Kutcher would have been proud... to bad I didn't have a camera to capture and relieve the memories. Let me recap for you what happened…

Several years ago I went to pick up Norms new car. I was turning in her Barney mobile for a new Jeep Liberty from the dealership. I went to where she was and surprise her with it. She was geeked about her new ride and wanted to test drive it. We were going home so I asked her if she wanted to race home. She agreed after the kids where saying “yea let do it!” Itchy came with me and Scratchy went with Norm. She was in front of me and as she was driving away from me, I hit the release hatch button on the spare set of keys that I had. The lift gate glass released and she slowed down and pulled over into a subdivision. She stopped and I looked at her inquisitively. She looked back at me like she had no clue what just happened... She closed the glass hatch and as she did I popped it back open. She closed the hatch again and I popped it open again. Itchy was now laughing and Norm was getting mad as she didn’t know why this was going on. I rolled my window down and asked her what’s going on… she responded with a shrug of her shoulders and a “I don’t know…. I think there is something wrong with the car.” I said “try it again… and this time, hold the glass door in place when you closed it.” She looked at me in that “what kind of an idiot are you... why should that work?”

She closed the glass door again and held it there. This time the door didn’t open. (Hallelujah… it’s a miracle) She looked at me as if I had “The Knack”. (But that is another story) I looked back at her with that “I told you so look.” She looked back at me and smiled. She walked back to drivers’ side door… opened it… got in… and as soon as she closed the door, I released the hatch again. Itchy was beside herself, and I was struggling to contain myself. She got out and stormed to the back of the car. She was now furious. She slammed the hatch again and I released the hatch again. I told her to hold it down again. She looked at me and if her look could kill I would have been six feet under. She closed the hatch again and held it in place for about a minute. I didn’t do anything. She looked at me with a little less malice and walked back to drives seat. She closed the door again and I popped the hatch again. As she stormed out of her car and thundered her way towards my car she was about to throw her keys at me as I raised the other key fob and laughed. Itchy was cracking up and I couldn’t contain myself any more. I put my car back into drive and raced back to our house. I beat her home and when she caught up, she laughed and said that I got her good. I told her that I was sorry but it was just getting too funny for me to stop.

Who's Hotter

Sorry for the week off from the Who's Hotter, but we've been kind of busy.

This week is going to be another hard decision for you as we have Sports Illustrated Supermodels heating up this web page. Who will advance, only you can decide.

Heidi Klum or Elle Macpherson

Brush with Fame

Let me recap for you. This past Friday, I went to my favorite place for lunch with a friend I had not seen since before Christmas.

We sat down and chatted about what we had been doing over the break. While we were eating, someone was passing out leaflets on each table. I glanced over at the leaflet and saw that it was an invitation to go see a political figure speak at a local place of worship. I didn't think much of it until a few minutes later the doors to the café opened and in walked Rep. Dennis Kucinich. Not that this happens every day to me, but I didn't think much of this except that right after Mr. Kucinich walked in, this tall ravishing red haired beauty followed him in. I knew her only from a few pictures that I saw of her. She was Mr. Kucinich better half , Elizabeth.

So there I was looking at the couple while he conducted a short speech and answered a few questions from the crowd and the only thing that I was wondering was how someone like him could attract someone like her. Don’t get me wrong I may be hating the player, but apparently, I just don’t understand the game that well, either.

Let me see if I can frame this photograph of the odd couple for you. Mr. Kucinich, may stand about 5’ 6” if he is on his tippy-toes. He’s about 60 years old and will never be near the top of People Magazine's sexiest man alive issue. Meanwhile, Elizabeth is a tall (I would guess six foot). She is at least half his age (just checked… 31 year difference) and has model good looks. I can understand why he is attracted to her, but besides the fact that he has some money and power, why would she be attracted to him?

Let's see what he has... He obviously is comfortable with himself and is able to speak eloquently on diverse subject matter. He is a liberal. He may also be really funny and be sweet and loving, but none of these traits you would be able to see from across the room looking at him. So where was that initial spark of physical attraction? I know what you're thinking... love is blind and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I am comfortable in my own sexuality to know if a man is good looking. And looking at the two of them, he has made a definitely huge step past what I call the looks zone.

I still believe that there has to be that spark to gather any interest in a potential mate. Without it, there are just friends.

I have to give Dennis kudos, though. Even though I don’t agree with his political views, I have never seen a political figure before going to a small café like the one that I was at and speaking for a few minutes to a handful of potential supporters. Typically, there needs to be a huge event monitored by several news agencies to get the front runners there. Furthermore, I give him credit for utilizing his assets and bringing Elizabeth with him on campaign stops. Without her there, I would have never looked up at him from my lunch, and I would have never googled his political views and would have never blogged about him. Good luck to him and his wife in the upcoming primary.

Who's Hotter Winner

Week three had brunettes Kate Backinsale and Eva Longoria facing off. Werewolf slayer knocks off the desperate housewife as Kate moves on to the next round

New Feature Added to Zotime

DVDSpot.com is a new site that I like a lot. It sorts and keeps track of your DVD collection. Click on the link on the right sidebar to see my current collection. If your in the area and want to borrow on of my DVD's send me an email.

Sorry... but it's still not up due to technical difficulties.... for now, click on

MY DVD COLLECTION

I've finally uploaded all of my collection... I can't belive we have 278 DVD's.